Author Archives: Lib

A Conversation With Clifford

As I was watching the Stanley Cup last night while working on my laptop. Clifford sits down with a bowl of cereal and watches the screen. He sat quietly just eating his cereal for a moment and then switched from hockey to some A&E crime show.

After about 10 minutes, he suddenly turned to me and said, “I just want you to know that no matter when or how I go, I’ve designed it and put a plan in place where it looks like you killed me. I want the cops to think it was all you.” Then he turned back to his show and continued to eat his cereal.

What?

What?

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Total-Take-Back: The Mickey Cake

My nephew’s 1st birthday was last weekend. He’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. My sister wanted to create the picture perfect Mickey cake.

The Perfect Mickey

The Picture Perfect Mickey Cake (http://www.littlebcakes.com/minnie-mouse-cakes.html)

She enlisted my help, and received what I like to call a CONCEPTUAL version of Mickey (that just happens to look like his face is being melted by the sun).

Melting Mickey ...

Melting Mickey …

But that’s not the part that seemed to throw my sister. Something wasn’t right and apparently it wasn’t the Oompa Loompa suntan Mickey’d  received. It was his nose. So she fixed it.

Hitler Mickey

yeah …

Mickey quickly went from George Hamilton to Hitler in the span of five seconds flat.

Love your children, but know your limits. Don’t do this to your kids, folks. Please…

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The Music Challenge #10 – Senior Year

I will be adding a few songs to The Music Challenge this week. All relating to senior year and graduation as a companion piece to Monday’s post.

Here we go …

65. The Senior Pep Rally that I may have mentioned before – a large group of us tried to learn the dance from the Will Smith video. We dressed in white button down shirts and black ties with sunglasses and the whole shebang. I remember rehearsing whenever we could squeeze in a few moments. I also remember flailing about and failing miserably. I am not only tone deaf, but I have no rhythm. I am the least musically inclined individual in the world. But hey, humiliating yourself in front of the entire student body for the good of the collective should be on everyone’s bucket list.

Will Smith, Men In Black (1997)

66. Sticking with the Will Smith train, this song takes me to our annual Spring Fling (a day of school spent in the great outdoors wherein 7th -12th grade classes competed against one another in a myriad of various silly and athletic contests. So basically a required day of attendance, but spent with friends goofing around on school grounds while tanning ourselves- and maybe winning at something). This Spring Fling was circa 1998. A small few represented our senior class in the good old Lip Sync Competition. I can’t remember if we won.

Will Smith, Miami (1997)

67. This makes me crack up every time I hear this song and it’s totally not a funny song. AT. ALL. It’s one of my favorite songs from back in the day, but it’s the context in which it was used that makes me laugh. Our video team, bless their hearts, used it as part of the soundtrack to our senior video (a VHS montage of various classmates grinning and doing stupid stuff to the melodramatic musical stylings of the 1990s). The reason this one cracks me up is because though on a shallow level listen, one might think the song is about reminiscing Freshman year and how fast times flies, etc. (which is likely why it was used in the video), but on closer inspection it’s actually about a dude remembering his girlfriend’s suicide with an implied abortion entered into the mix. Like I said – NOT. FUNNY. AT. ALL. Probably shouldn’t have been the background music to moments of mad antics, but alas, it is what it is and that is where this song takes me.

The Verve Pipe, The Freshmen (1996)

68. I love Green Day. I loved Green Day back when they were brand spanking new. I particularly love this song. It was sung by our senior choir at graduation and whenever it plays, I think about being on those risers in the gymnasium with my fellow classmates singing it to our friends and families all over again.

Green Day, Good Riddance (1997)

69. This song sums up the area in which I grew up. We kept religion in our little Podunk public school long past the point of political correctness. I’m pretty proud of that. It was sung by my classmates and me at the end of our graduation ceremony. It was actually a rather contrived cheesy moment, but it was put forth would good intentions, and again, defied the laws of the land in a public school setting.

Michael W. Smith, Friends (1987)

 

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Throw-Back-Monday: High School Graduation

It’s that time of year where graduations are everywhere. High schools and colleges, even pre-schools have graduations now. Actually, pretty much any level of education these days owns the opportunity to recognize individuals making it through another compulsory year of academic trials and tribulations.

Which brings me to my high school graduation. It wasn’t some momentous life-altering occasion where I waxed nostalgic and feared the future. I welcomed my graduation with open arms because of the need to explore what was beyond the confines of my one cop town, not because I actually hated high school.

See, High School and I were fast friends. We had a wonderful relationship. It treated me pretty well and I didn’t complain too much. No real attachment on either side. It was what every casual relationship should be: hassle-free with as little emotional investment as possible.

Me being in a casual relationship with High School.

Me being in a casual relationship with High School. Little emotional investment.

Me teaching how to line dance to the spanish teacher (even though I took German).

A hassle-free moment… me teaching line dancing to our High School Spanish teacher (even though I took German)

It also helped that two of my siblings had blazed a trail of success in their wake. And though that set a rather high academic and behavioral bar that I had no intention of hitting,  it also greased my teachers’ expectations enough to allow me infinite hall passes and a bit more lenience when  I inevitably did or said something stupid. (Thanks, Siblings!) I also kind of had an “in” with the Vice Principal thanks to Darewood (you totally know that’s why we became friends, right?).

Darewood!!! Thank God your dad was the VP.

Oh Darewood!!! Thank God your dad was the VP – the catalyst of our enduring friendship.

But even though we had a pretty great relationship, when it was time for High School and I to part ways, there were no tears to shed or hints of regret eaking in. There was no wallowing in “but these are the best years of my life” moments.  Hell, if the best years of my life were going to be at the ages of 16, 17 or 18, then life has an exceptionally cruel sense of humor.

The bottom line about graduating was that I was ready and elated. It was time to move on and that was exciting to me, not scary and sad. Like I said, I didn’t hate high school. I just used it to my advantage and left it in bed without so much as a phone call the next day. I wasn’t going to miss it like some people (i.e. those still showing up at every home football game in their letter jackets at the age of 23 — you know who you are). And though I thoroughly enjoyed most of the people I went to school with, and firmly believe to this day that I was part of one of the best classes to ever grace the hallowed halls of Fairfield Jr.-Sr. High School, I was totally ready to say good-bye and start the next chapter.

I wanted to love graduation and not be saddened by it. So when it came to prepare for our final bow, I was all in. You only live once. I joined the senior or rather the graduation choir. That’s a big deal for me because I’m tone deaf (which can probably be confirmed by the lucky few who got stuck next to me on the risers at the ceremony). I think the tile in my shower hates me for belting solo renditions of anything Madonna produced in the latter part of the 1980s. But hey, I wanted to partake. I wanted to be a joiner in those last few weeks of school. I tried to have conversations with people that I normally didn’t get to have a conversation with. I thanked my teachers. I put my affairs in order and participated to the best of my ability.

I don’t remember too much about the actual event. I do remember sitting on uncomfortable folding chairs in the middle of the gym floor for a really long time while whoever spouted whatever cliché insights should be spouted to 18 year olds about to attack the big White Whale we call adulthood.

I remember the senior choir getting to sing some Green Day, which was a pretty big feat in 1998 in the rural uber conservative parts of Northern Indiana. Kudos to whichever classmates got approval for that one.

I do remember shaking our principal’s hand for the last time.

Look at that. total freedom just minutes away from this moment.

So this was totally rehearsed btw.

The most memorable and laughable moment by far was when our entire class was forced to stand and face our friends and families, taking the lyrics of Friends Are Friends Forever that had been carefully placed on our seats, to croon the sickly schmaltzy song whilst holding onto our neighbor like it was a Hands Across America repeat performance.

Yep, singing to the very friends and family who had already sat through a rather painful hour and a half of pomp and circumstance only to be serenaded by eighty-odd off-key teens taking the sentimental diddy to a whole other level of unacceptable. People cried. No, they ugly cried. It’s like our school and Michael W. Smith conspired to move the audience and graduates to feel the feels they had at the end of Schindler’s List all over again. So wrong on so many levels.

However, I didn’t cry. I smiled wider than ever before as I sang each cheesy word knowing this was the last thing the institution was ever going to be able to make me do. I found our nice casual relationship was suddenly bordering on Clingy Ex territory. It just didn’t seem like it was going to let go, and then finally, it did. It was over and people were still ugly crying but they were hugging and wishing each other well.

That was the last day I saw a fair amount of my classmates. Some of them I’d been to school with since Kindergarten, but it was ok. I enjoyed them while they were there, while we shared classes together, hit puberty together, failed miserably at magazine sales together and we were all going to take that next big step onto something greater than high school together.

All 80 something of us in our cap and gown glory. The Fairfield Jr.-Sr. class of 1998.

All 80 something of us in our cap and gown glory. The Fairfield Jr.-Sr. class of 1998

Experiences like graduation shouldn’t make us sad about what’s ending. They should make us thrilled about what’s to come. 17 years later hasn’t changed my view on that whatsoever. Enjoy it while you’ve got it and happily move on when it’s time to go.

So, what was your high school graduation experience like?

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Drunk Texting My Best Friend

Drunk texted Chelle on a random Wednesday evening. Ok, maybe not so random.  It was the Arrow Season 3 Finale and I got a little excited and then it hit me exactly how excited I was and I needed to share it with my friend … Hey now, if you can’t drunk text your bestie during a killer season finale, then who can you drunk text?

photo

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Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

I think this found photo answers the question – Why, Mother? Why? 

Like mother like daighters ...

Like mother like daughters … Once a fashionista, always a fashionista. 

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The Music Challenge #9 – Road Trips

I have done a lot of road trips over the years. A. Lot. Most of them involve driving to or from America’s Heartland in some shape, form or other. The company you keep and the music you play make the trip. Music is particularly important on those lonelier treks where small talk and tall tales typically shared with cohorts can’t exactly be the order of the day.

I love road trips. Like with a capital L. They make me happy. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely moments when I’m ready to get out of the car and simply be done with the whole ordeal. Highways and byways can easily become monotonous solitary trails seemingly leading to nothing more than a great big abyss, but I like the time these trips give me to slow things down, take a step back and just think about things.

Driving from Atlanta to Northern Indiana recently, I was doing just that- thinking. Certain songs are more conducive to internal contemplation and deliberation. There are definitely times when you want to roll down the window, let the wind hit your hair, and put the pedal to the metal while blasting tunes that just totally pump you up. Road trips are not those times for me. Partly because rolling my window down while going 79mph on an interstate doesn’t do my hair any favors (you’ve seen my hair on a good day, right? forget after hazardously wind-swept conditions), but also because they are the times allocated to quiet consideration and meditation. It’s the time for me to put things back in perspective because inevitably something somewhere in my life is horribly out of whack. I realized on this last 1,340 odd mile journey, that Classic Rock is it for me.  It relaxes my mind. Again, it puts things in perspective. It speaks truths and allows me to reflect on what really matters. Continue reading

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The Music Challenge #8 – Slow Dance Songs

To continue in the vein of Monday’s prom related post, and desperately needing to add to The Music Challenge, I’ve decided to insert these cheesy sweethearts that overwhelmed every girl’s gushing heart while opening doors of opportunity for their hormonal-driven dates at some random dance in the 1990s.

I begin with my Junior prom. The theme was Take My Breath Away. I still remember sitting in the Home-Economics room with the prom committee when one of my comrades threw it out there for consideration. All I’ll say, given that it was prom, it could have been SO much worse. I’d gladly accept a Top Gun inspired prom slow song over something inspired by the sinking of a gigantic ship. I’m just saying … Continue reading

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Throw-Back-Monday: Prom

I apologize for lacking in posts last week. Life sometimes gets in the way. I will try to make it up to you this week, though! That said, my social media pages have been inundated by so many posts and tweets about prom the last couple of weeks, I feel compelled to share a prom with you. This post is dedicated to Fairfield Jr.-Sr. High School’s Class of 1998 …

Prom. Yeah, not really my scene. In hindsight, it was never going to be the end all be all of my high school years.

Firstly, I have no rhythm. At a club you can get away with looking the fool because you can chalk it up to being tipsy, or at the very least there’s always some yahoo twirling around in sky high stilettos flailing about worse than you. Always.

Secondly, it’s kind of lame. Overpriced dress attire, terrible food, corny photo-ops and forced mingling set to cheesy ballads and crappy pop picks. Does that really sound like an exciting night for anyone?

Thirdly, deep down, I just didn’t care.   Continue reading

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I Am Competitive

Can you read the words on the shirt?

That's me. circa 1997?

Me. circa 1997?

“Doesn’t play well with others.”

There might be way more truth in that statement than I ever care to admit. And there might have been some catering to a kitschy 90s trend by literally wearing pithy inner thoughts on my chest for the world to see. Either way, a true statement is a true statement. Continue reading

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