Tag Archives: Stephen Amell

I Had A Favorite Sweater



It’s been a few weeks, not A week, I know, but I’ve had good reason! I needed some time to process because a thing has happened. (and no, to all you well-wishers and dreamers, I AM NOT PREGNANT).

Have you ever owned a sweater that hugged you in just the right way? It gave you warmth when you were cold. It gave you comfort when you were sad or lonely. It gave you confidence when you were insecure and overwhelmed. It was your happy place.

Then one day, the close friend who gave you the sweater asks to borrow it. They won’t have it for long. They promise to have it back to you in no time. Reluctantly, you agree. I mean, they gave you the sweater after all…

Time goes by and you have had yet to receive your sweater. You miss it, but know that it’s safely in the hands of your trusted friend. It will come back to you soon.

More time goes by and you miss it so much. You finally ask your friend how your favorite sweater in the whole wide world is doing because life just isn’t the same without it. You want to know when your happy place is coming home. Your friend promises you’ll have it back soon.

Again, more time goes by. You inquire about your sweater once more as your patience is growing rather thin. Weirdly, your friend deflects, speaks in vagaries and about other sweaters they think you might adore as much as the one they borrowed from you. Essentially, you don’t find the answer you seek.

The next thing you know, sweater season is half way through and you haven’t had an opportunity to enjoy your happy place once. It’s bullshit. You call out your “friend”. You demand answers. You want your favorite sweater back and you want it now.

It is finally back in your arms, but instead of your favorite sweater returned in its pristine condition, the threads are unravelling, the body’s been stretched, and the yarn’s been worn bare. The entire sweater is coming apart at the seams. This is not your sweater. This is not your happy place. You don’t even recognize what you’re “friend” has given you. You want to believe it can be salvaged, but there’s just no way. THIS is a pile of shit masquerading as your favorite sweater. You won’t wear shit. Shit is not your happy place.

THIS is what the Arrow writers have done with my favorite show. Don’t trust people with your favorite sweater.


My Husband & Chris Pratt’s Abs

Clifford and I struck an accord this December. He wants to grow a beard. I like clean-cut. Maybe clean-cut with a bit of scruff, but he wants a full-on-lumberjack-not-quite-ZZ-Top-looking beard.


Anyway, I know beards are trending right now, particularly thanks to hipster types that are into those special beard oils and overpriced maintenance kits. Heck, Wil Wheaton shared a blog post about the year of the beard just yesterday. It’s a thing. I get it. Still not my thing.

So when Clifford came to me and told me he was going balls to the walls with it, I laughed. I rolled my eyes. I said, “I don’t think so.”

But he was set on growing a beard. It was his dream. A dream I had prevented from happening for over nine years. We had finally hit our impasse. Well, when at an impasse, no time like the present to negotiate. And negotiate terms I did.

I had two:

  1. Six months. He would have until June 15th, 2015 to grow his beard. At that time we would reassess his poor decision.
  2. He has to have a six pack (and I’m not talking beer here, folks)

See, the way I see it is that if I have to stare at that hideous monstrosity day in and day out hiding the face with which I fell in love, it’s only fair that something just as lovely is substituted in return to refocus my attentions elsewhere. A six pack is a worthy substitution.

So on June 15th, if he likes the beard, AND he has a six pack, the beard stays. Otherwise, that thing is coming off faster than a prom dress with much less sentimental attachment in its wake.

I felt my husband needed some inspiration for his journey. Gaining a six pack is no easy feat. He’s no longer what you might call a spring chicken, but he’s still only 34. Six months of hard work is doable. I needed to show him some other guys in their 30s who took it and ran with it so he could understand the possibilities. I wanted him to see exactly how I wanted him to look what he could look like with some hard work and dedication.

Enter Chris Pratt (well, and Stephen Amell). Just as women everywhere have their little boards of inspiration, I thought Clifford could use one, too. After all, sometimes telling someone isn’t the same as showing them what you mean. So I sent him these.

A beard like this is great.

A beard like this would be great.

A beard like this would be absolutely acceptable.

A beard like this would be absolutely acceptable.

Abs like this is what I mean.

Abs like this is what I mean.

Clifford could SO make this happen.

Clifford could SO make this happen.

He pretty much laughed in my face, “whatever’d” me, and kept on growing his beard.

It’s been about a month since we made our deal, so I thought it was time for a quick check-in the other day. Maybe a few motivational words to keep Clifford going.   I sent him this.

A little motivational check-in.

What better motivation than Chris Pratt’s abs?   Then I received an immediate cease and desist request. I believe the words he texted were: Stop sending me these pics. Don’t need the guys on the job seeing me open pics of half-naked dudes. So stop.

The text was followed by a phone call. Clifford said he was with his contractor and his client showing them pictures of samples on his phone when all of a sudden Chris Pratt showed up in all his glory. And he didn’t show up on the phone like he does in the aforementioned text message. He showed up like this.

Clifford could SO make this happen.

Clifford said the contractor and client both looked at him, then at each other, then to Chris Pratt’s abs, then they looked  anywhere but at Clifford and Chris Pratt’s abs. No one said a word and Clifford went back to showing samples.

Needless to say, he was not as pleased with Chris Pratt’s motivational abs as I’d hoped he’d be (never thought I’d write a sentence like that… hmmm).

Regardless, it’s on. The Great Beard/Ab Compromise of 2015. A thank you in advance to Chris Pratt and Stephen Amell for unknowingly offering your bodies yourselves as stimulus on Clifford’s quest to meeting my conditions.

It all comes down to June 15th, folks. Stay tuned.


Arrow- A Show You Should Be Watching

I am an Arrow fan. Like I’m becoming a huge Arrow fan. I’d had it in my Netlfix queue for a while, meaning to check it out for months. I actually thought it’d be one of those guy-centric action shows that sure, I’d enjoy, but I wouldn’t exactly have to DVR it either. Which I don’t mind, hell, I loved The Avengers as much as the next fan, but devote my time to yet another series that’s seems geared toward a different demographic? Meh, I don’t know… Well, now I know. And I am definitely part of the demographic.  Continue reading