It was around Memorial Day a few years back. Two of my sisters and I headed out to the quaint little German town about an hour outside of Atlanta – Helen. I had been there once or twice before. It sort of feels like a Redneck version of Epcot. I mean pulling into town, one half expects to see Mickey and Minnie waving from a corner in their lederhosen and dirndl. So of course I love it. Next best thing to Pigeon Forge. AND you drive through Cabbage-Patch country to get there. Being a mad collector of Mattel’s adorable little adoptees as a kid, this just added to the cool factor in my book.
The village looks like something out of Heidi. Well, an American touristy version of what Heidi’s village should look.
Oh, Heidi! WIR LIEBEN DICH!
German inspired, tourism with a capital T. But the cheese is what makes it so great!
A rough Hansel and Gretel getting their beer on.
My partner lost his head over all the German kitsch.
Other than grabbing some schnitzel, potato salad, and a funnel cake, my sisters and I had plans to go tubing down the Chattahoochee.
Since it was the end of May, we knew the water was going to be pretty chilly. But we were going for it anyway, though there was one tiny little issue – the water level was SO low.
That said, we started on the outskirts of town and got going pretty easily. And yes it was cold. If you’ve never been, you have to try tubing at least once in your life. Sitting back, catching some rays, being carried by the rushing water … it’s one of the best experiences you can have. A group in front of us had the stellar idea to rent an extra tube just to hold their beer cooler as they rode down the river. I did say Redneck, right? Redneck and brilliant.
It was a lot of fun. We were one with nature, way better than those lazy rivers at some Floridian resort…till things got rocky. Like literally rocky. Remember how I said the water was SO low? Well, as we approached the area where the river runs through the town, we began to slow to a crawl because the water was getting so shallow. Then the river became a trickle and finally not even a trickle at all. We were stuck.
Best part? We were right in the middle of the downtown area near one of the bridges trapped like deer in headlights. All of the tourists eating their lunches and passing by could just sit or stand and stare as if we were the latest Deutsch town attraction on display for their viewing pleasure.
We smiled awkwardly. We likely waved, but I remember feeling very exposed as we struggled with what to do. We saw that the groups of tubers near us had sticks and were able to work their way through the rocky water-free zone to freedom. So of course we stepped out of our tubes to grab sticks, too. Any sticks at this point since the entire community was watching and laughing at us lovely ladies trying to backwoods engineer our way out of dry land and onto what should have been a gushing body of water that would carry us along our merry way.
We worked it out somehow. We eventually finagled our way out of the dry depths of the rocky river bed and back to the charging Chattahoochee of our dreams. A cheeseball tourist town + a terribly rough ride = a time I would totally repeat.
Have you ridden down the Chattahoochee? Any great tubing stories? Share them below!
