I walked out of the bathroom after my shower routine and they were sitting on the edge of the bed giving me “the look”. My husband was sitting in the middle with his hands in his lap, patiently waiting for me. Each of my dogs on either side of him, their heads low but their eyes looking at me troubled and rather disapprovingly.
I took a step back.
“What is this? An intervention?” I asked, laughing out loud, trying to add a little comic relief to the unexpected and slightly awkward moment being shared before me.
“I think it’s time for an intervention, yes,” Clifford replied.
Me: “Seriously? You aren’t being serious…”
Clifford: “But we are being serious. It has to stop.”
Me: “What has to stop?” completely confused.
Clifford: “The cleaning. You have to stop. The piles, the stacks, the half-empty trash bags in every room … it has to stop.”
So yeah, I sort of have a problem. I call it my adult ADD – it might be a real thing, I don’t know. The bottom line is, I am far from a clean freak. I’m a busy girl with things to do. I clean when I need to. And who actually likes cleaning anyway? The thing is, my cleaning practices are a little more like an in-house scavenger hunt …
I start cleaning. I dust, or wipe, or sweep. Then I go to move something and it happens. It’s like I find a clue. Said item doesn’t belong in the room. I must take it to its proper home. I leave what I’m doing and put it away in another place. While I’m there, I see something else out of order. Another clue. OR wow, this place needs cleaning more than the last place. So I begin to do whatever needs done. Then I get taken to another room and another or back to the first.
The hunt continues on and on. I find little treasures (or total chaos that randomly needs to be immediately addressed) in every room. To add to this hop –skipping along, a song suddenly comes on Pandora that I’ve never heard before, and I love it. Who sings this song? I pause from my “cleaning” and take a quick seat on the edge of my bed/couch/chair to see who sings it. Someone with a $ sign in their name. hmmm, interesting…
I look them up on my phone. Let’s be real – I have to see the video, the song is just so good. So I go to Youtube. I look up the music video to the song. Then Youtube offers a suggestion of another music video I might like because of the one I just watched. Youtube! You know me so well!
The next song totally reminds me of Dawson’s Creek. They had such great soundtracks. How I LOVED Pacey Witter! And oh my gosh! I remember a great Funny or Die video with Joshua Jackson doing this Pacey-Con thing. I need to see that again. Like right this instant. So I open my browser and watch it. I laugh. HILARIOUS! Joshua Jackson is SO funny! I wonder if he has Twitter? I bet he would be so fun to follow on Twitter. I exit the Funny or Die site and open Twitter. So many Dawson’s Creek fans on this thing … I miss that show so much! I have to watch an episode now. WAY too much nostalgia going on here. So I exit Twitter and I go to my Netflix app to find Dawson’s Creek. Wait, what is this? Netflix just added Hunger Games: Catching Fire? Hell yeah! I start the movie and am about twenty minutes in and decide I should make myself more comfortable – but, oh wait – I should get back to “cleaning”…
But you know what? I feel kinda dirty with all of this dusting and sweeping. I should actually shower. Who cares if it’s the middle of the day? I feel nasty. Then I can listen to more music on Pandora, too. I lean the broom that’d been sitting next to me on the edge of the bed/couch/chair against the wall, grab a towel and head to the bathroom.
In just thinking about preparing for the holidays and houseguests arriving next week, I realized something: my husband’s intervention changed nothing. I do have a problem. I admit it. My adult attention span, coupled with my iphone apps and love for 90’s television gets me every time. So my house remains half-cleaned? Somehow, I’m ok with that. If you are ever a guest in my home, please understand I did try. Good intentions and all that jazz …
And if you didn’t see it, you must: