I made chocolate chip cookies last Friday night. Pretty mundane chore for most people, but with me, cooking is always a whirlwind affair. Probably because I suck at it. You can ask my Home Ec teacher and I’m sure she’ll remember. I overcooked, I undercooked, I burned. I forgot to remove packaging. I misread the recipe (many many times). I never kneaded. I never sifted. I never levelled. I blended when I should have folded. I chopped when I should have grated. Nothing has ever really tasted or turned out quite right. I think the Pumpkin Pie Debacle of 2013 proves that.
I am not a ditz. I do know how to read. I think I’ve just never cared when it comes to cooking. And indifference breeds indolence … which brings me to my cookies.
Clifford has been begging for those damn cookies for weeks. Because I don’t care, I’ve just never gotten around to making them. The other night, for whatever reason, I felt inspired. I had all of the ingredients, or so I thought, and decided to surprise him when he got home from work.
Let me preface the following event with how I feel about separating the wet ingredients from the dry: Lesson learned working in the cafeteria in elementary school – I was the applesauce girl that day. My job was to scoop up the applesauce and put it on the tray and pass the tray along. That’s it. There was a designated little indent, just for me to place the applesauce. Basically a complete idiot could do my job. Then came a “Teacher Tray”. A teacher tray meant doubling up. Two scoops it was, and this was for my future 4th grade teacher, Mr. Hornberger. As I was handed the tray, I added the first scoop. I went to add the second and I poured the applesauce all over his grilled cheese sandwich. How I missed my little indent, I have no idea. I stood frozen and mortified. He looked over the sneeze guard at the applesauce sitting on top of his sandwich and then looked at me.
I have never forgotten his words, “It’s ok. It all goes to the same place anyway.” And that’s how I feel about separating ingredients.
So in case you want to make okay tasting cookies just like me, here’s the recipe and my unique technique: I used Nestle Toll House’s original recipe as my starting point.
2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour: I couldn’t find my 1 cup measuring utensil, so I used my 2/3 cup and guestimated. I didn’t level. I didn’t sift. I figured 2/3 is just short of 1 cup, so if I sort of pile the flour on top to what looks like an extra third and then some, thinking it’d be ok. I did that twice and then just grabbed some flour with my hand and tossed it in for good measure.
Looks about right.
1 tsp baking soda: I just poured some in my hand and tossed it in. I’m a visual person. I’ve taken enough liquid cough syrup over the years to be able to ballpark a teaspoon of just about anything.
1 tsp salt: Again, poured some in my hand, but this time way way too much. So I flicked what looked like a teaspoon into my bowl and threw the rest over my left shoulder because I see them do that on TV.
1 cup butter, softened: I took two sticks fresh out of the fridge, threw them in the microwave and nuked them for about 15 seconds till they were soft and almost melted. Tossed them in the bowl, too.
¾ cup granulated sugar: I didn’t want to dirty more dishes, so I used the 2/3 cup utensil again and just overestimated a bit to try to get to ¾.
¾ cup packed brown sugar: I never really understood the whole packing sugar thing, so I filled my little 2/3 cup, dumped it in, reached into the brown sugar with my hands and grabbed a handful and dumped it in, too.
1 tsp vanilla extract: Yeah, I had like the teensiest little bit; it was a bummer because I really like vanilla flavor, so I threw what I had in the bowl, then searched my cupboard high and low and couldn’t find anything but Rum Flavor. So I tossed a good bit of that in, too.
2 large eggs: Cracked them and added them. I scoured for shells like a kid digging through a sandbox.
I added just a bit of hot water (my mom’s addition to the recipe); then used my little beater and beat the love out of the whole thing.
Isn’t it pretty?
Last but not least, I stirred in the chocolate chips with a pretty flimsy spatula because I couldn’t find a spoon.
My Home Economics teacher may not be proud (which is ok because she totally hated me anyway), but I make my cookies this way because everything goes to the same place. Maybe if I’d made that stupid pumpkin pie like this, it wouldn’t have tasted like shit.
Meh, they look like chocolate chip cookies and that’s the important thing so Clifford would eat them.
So what’s your best cookie recipe? I’d love to try it out and share the pics. Email me or share it in the comments section below!
