A continuation of Lib Goes To The Library, Lib Goes To The Library – Part 2, and Part 3
So yes, I’ve been reduced to coercing a rather straight laced librarian into breaking the rules. Maybe not break so much as bend them a bit. Have you ever seen a librarian that bends the rules? It went something like this:
Me (stepping to the counter with a look of desperation): I totally know that I’ve hit my maximum renewals … (she gives me the look) And I know I totally should have read the book by now (she starts shaking her head while taking the book from me), but you see I have jury duty this Monday and I just know I’ll read the book then …
Librarian (scanning the book and looking at her screen): Yes, you have checked it out for the maximum number of times. You can’t renew it more than three times. I’m sorry.
Me (with a pathetic attempt at puppy dog eyes): Well, what if you checked it back in and I just happened to be the next person to check it out? Then it’s all just coincidence. No harm no foul. I highly doubt there’s a hold on this one… (no offense Mr. Klosterman)
Librarian (again with the look using her librarian tone): You cannot renew a book more than three times. (then she side eyes the librarian next to her helping another person at the counter and looks back at me using a hushed upon hushed tone): You can’t tell anyone I did this, ok?
The woman looked seriously scared for her life. Her eyes darted again to the colleague on her right before turning back to begin working some computer magic with the keys. I watched in awe.
Librarian (looks at me, still whispering whispering and even leaning a bit towards me): I’m serious. You cannot tell anyone I did this! I could get into trouble for this! We are not allowed to do this! (she looks back at the computer , and once more peripherally to the woman on her side of the counter)
Me (grateful, confused, but excited she’s taking such a chance): Thank you so much! I’m sure they won’t let me use my phone at jury duty so I will have no option but to sit and read this book, I promise! It.Will. Get. Read. (I tried to emphasize my commitment to reading the book to ease her concerns and affirm that her efforts will not have been in vain)
Librarian (somewhat conspiratorially and very pointedly) : Oh they definitely won’t let you use your phone. You will want this book. Mark my words. (she slowly passed the book back to me, looking me in the eye like what she just said was a secret she was never supposed to share, and yet almost challenging me to prove her wrong. It occurred to me that this librarian was a bit tightly wound).
I nodded slowly and carefully reached for the book. I felt like a gazelle trying quietly not to disturb the lion that was just a reach away. The tension that had suddenly descended between us had me ready to get the hell out of there.
Me: Thank you, again. (I stepped back with the book and added a bit warily) I really appreciate it.
Librarian (with a sharp look and the whisper whisper): Remember, don’t tell anyone about this!
I smiled, nodded and left the library faster than The Flash. I’m reading the book on Monday so help me if only to avoid anymore awkward confrontations like the one I just had.
