I Went to a Psychic

My big sis took me to Ace Gilletts Lounge in old town Fort Collins to meet her friends Diane and Stephanie (great girls!)

Diane and Stephanie cartoon

Cool chicks

Ace Gilletts was designed to have a little of that old speakeasy flair. It was cozy. I dug the vibe. I drank Milk and Honey (excellent, by the way, I highly recommend), and we ordered a few apps. As we got to talking one thing led to another and my sister and I left the bar with a recommendation for an excellent local psychic.

Psychic cartoon

This is what I pictured. 

Psychic? I’ve ALWAYS wanted to see a psychic! But I’ve not exactly had the best track record with a psychic. There are two within a few miles of my house. I drive past them every day.

 We have Psychic Jennifer.

Psychic Jennifer's House cartoon

Psychic Jennifer’s House

 And Psychic Tonya.

Psychic Tonya's House

Psychic Tonya’s House

Really, their signs say Psychic Jennifer and Psychic Tonya. Anyway, if you were me, which one would you go to? But of course I chose Psychic Tonya! It was my 30th birthday and my mom was in town. On the spur of the moment I told my mom how Psychic Tonya was having a $10 reading sale (another red flag, perhaps?). My mom is a sale enthusiast, so we hopped in the car and headed to Psychic Tonya’s house.

Now I’d never actually seen Psychic Tonya. My sister had. She saw her sitting on the stoop once and said she looked like this.

Psychic Tonya cartoon

Psychic Tonya

I wasn’t deterred. Clearly she was just tired and worn from her years of seeing futures and telling truths. As we approached, her house lights were burning, the Open sign was aglow and I was ready. My mom and I got out of the car and headed up the stairs. I knocked. The lights went out. I knocked again. The Open sign turned to Closed. Now, she’s a psychic. And obviously a very good psychic because she saw me coming. She was probably anticipating my ineptitude in handling the epic load of future stuff she was about to drop, so she thought ahead and simply rejected me completely. But you know, on your birthday, it feels a little less rational than that.

Flash forward to Fort Collins. Sure! Let’s try this psychic thing again. I wasn’t scarred or anything the first time and I’m seizing opportunities, right? Right.

When it was my turn to meet with her, it was totally different than what I thought it would be. For one, Marla Mitchell was really sweet. Not that Psychic Tonya wouldn’t have been sweet, but she was seemed a bit rougher around the edges. Marla used tarot cards while she did my reading. It was great. Of course I was captivated by the artwork on the cards, so I didn’t take many notes. All in all, it sounds like everything is on the up and up for me. I’ll be rich before I know it. Travel is in the stars. There was only one little possibility for concern. Something WILL blow up for me in December. It will change the way I look at everything. Like explode. She even came back to it again and said, “Oh yes. Something definitely capital W. I . L . L. will blow up in December.”

explosion cartoon


Hmmmm … Not exactly lights mysteriously going black at my knock, but hardly the most comforting vision, either. I guess we’ll see. (and I do recommend Marla if the mood strikes you, by the way.) So I guess at this point there’s potentially 26 days that I’ll be waiting for the shoe to drop (the last five have been relatively uneventful), but the anxious anticipation was well worth the experience. I’ll keep you posted.


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