Every time I walk into my sister’s house I feel like Dian Fossey observing the Mountain Gorillas of Rwanda. I’m studying not a culture but a species I don’t really understand, but captivates me nonetheless. It can be amusing, scary, disgusting, shocking, and joyous all at the same time. What I witness at my sister’s house is enlightening. Like learning another language. Like trying an exotic food. From the smells, to the sounds, to the visuals overloading my senses, I can’t help but be in awe. In awe, yes, but I also find myself disturbed. Always very disturbed…

For example, I get my niece naked a lot. I show up and she’s usually pantless, but oftentimes wholly naked just running around hanging out. Naked with her special blanket. Sometimes it’s a cape. Sometimes it’s a friend for her to talk to. Sometimes it’s a head piece. She’s definitely got spunk, I’ll give her that. But the naked is something I hope doesn’t carry beyond her 3^rd birthday. I think she’ll be 3. Clearly this behavior has not gone unnoticed and is perhaps not limited to just my niece …

A text between my sister and me.

There’s a lot of DVD or DVR watching. A lot of Mickey Mouse, but today’s Mickey Mouse isn’t like the Mickey Mouse we grew up with. This is a cartoon comprised of 3D renderings that totally creep me out. Sort of like the Polar Express. Oh how I miss single cell sometimes.

There’s a lot of eating. The rugrats, and I say that affectionately, are always eating. Gone are the cheerios of yesteryear replaced by tiny fish crackers called goldfish, even though they aren’t gold at all. And the eating can happen anywhere in their environment. On the carpet, on the couch, in a chair, off their feet, in their room, on a pillow, from their hair…

Did I mention a lot of MESSY eating?

We’ve all heard of the three or five second rule, but this genus has no such guidelines or limitations. A crumb found in a random corner from yesterday’s fare can suddenly turn into the day’s newest feast. There’s also a lot of licking. A LOT of licking. A cookie or a donut might be handed to them and hours later, the donut has been mutilated like a wild animal destroys its prey, but in actuality very little of the sweet treat has been eaten. Oh, rest assured it’s been licked to death, quite thoroughly and ravenously at that, but it’s not been eaten.

They speak a language that’s lost on me, completely alien to my ears. I concentrate quite solidly, trying to understand the messages being conveyed, but to no avail. My sister deciphers my niece’s garbled expressions quite effortlessly as if they are human words. I stare completely mystified by their exchanges.

They play. They dress up like unicorns and have tea parties. I understand the tea parties…

Unicorn love.

They impersonate other species. They crow like birds. Roar like lions. Stomp like elephants. They pretend to cook, or in some cases they really do cook, but I wouldn’t recommend ingesting it.

Sketchy cooking …

Every time I leave my sister’s house, I leave baffled by the order I’m leaving behind. One day I’ll return and bear witness again to the strange and foreign territory in which my sister and her family dwell. The thing is, I will return.

Me and my lovely little nephew and Sigourney Weaver as Dian Fossey with her little love.

For those of you who have the mad willingness, the intense stamina and the unending patience to procreate – bless you all!

Happy Friday.